Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
