i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
