Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
