We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
