Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
