Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
