i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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