i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she smelled like a LAN party
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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