no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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