He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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