i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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