Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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