like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
