Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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