bring money and cleavage
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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