I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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