Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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