bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
