The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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