and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
