His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
