this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
