Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
