All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
