He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
