THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
