Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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