Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
