Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
