as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
