I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
