I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
