Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
