It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Less talking, more tequila
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
