I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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