Well douche your snatch and let's go!
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
babies were throwing up all over the place
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
