am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You did what with his pubic hair?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
