problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
