don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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