from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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