my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
