She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
