Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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