Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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