why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
