My hand turned me down
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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