my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
