you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's never too late to be topless.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
