I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize