Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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