did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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